Hi Ho!
Just wanted to let the few here know. It's actually hard to offend me. And if you do you will not wonder if you did, it will be real clear. Now there have been occasions where people went from my "Well respected" list to my "Too stupid to deal with" list in one fell swoop, but if someone does that it will be painless because I won't be offended, I'll just be done interacting with them. I had a woman tell me once that my trouble was not that it was hard to read between the lines of what I said to get to what I really meant, but rather that I didn't use lines and instead smacked people in the face with the truth, at least as I perceived it. :::shrug::: Probably true, but I can take it as well. It's actually been a relationship issue, though not with the Ladies I'm with now. A little more than a decade ago though, I was seeing a woman and we would occasionally be somewhere and she would hear me insulted. She would fly to my defense and then I'd come over to see what the problem was. She'd tell me what was said and I'd just laugh at it. Then she'd be angry that I wasn't angry. My favorite was "Wal-Mart dom" I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean, but in retrospect it didn't seem very insulting. I happen to know some folks that work with Wal-Mart, and the week before I was called that, Wal-Mart, already the biggest corporation in the world, had bought the local Airport in their hometown and turned into a private field for just their planes. If that's the definition of failure, at least I'm failing huge!!
Now I say this because in the short time I've been blogging, at least two people have indicated they thought I was upset or offended. I want the gallery's opinions not necessarily its' approval. So now you know.
3 comments:
All right, I'll be brave and comment on this one.
I don't actually worry about offending you. I try to be civil to everyone (until they put on the T-shirt that says "go ahead and nuke me") but that doesn't mean I'm pussy-footing around.
Nor do I worry about you offending me. (Although that women faking orgasm crack came close...) Like you, I'll just ignore the people who piss me off. So, here goes.
My biggest difficulty with your blog up to now is similar to that of the woman who said you were smacking people in the face. You obviously have strong feelings about your situation and you make some really good points. The problem is that they tend to get lost amid the verbal arm-waving. You do yourself a disservice with that. I'm too busy watching your flailing hands to fully attend to your words.
Additionally, I know you say you want input but so far my impression has been that what you actually want is for someone to say something you can argue against. You may be simply trying to hone your own viewpoint but be careful you don't bludgeon the innocent bystander in the process. We are not sacrificial victims on the altar of your search for truth. (No one is that masochistic!)
OK, I'm done now.
JZ,
First let me thank you for offering your opinions. I appreciate you taking the time.
I thought that women faking orgasms crack was funny because it's so true. I mean if you were going to fake an orgasm, why else would you do it. The irony from my point of view is that the men women fake an orgasm for almost never deserve the consideration. But, if he's happy and she's happy what do I care?
Now, it's clear you don't worry about offending me, and I appreciate it. But that makes you a good example. You haven't come close to offending me. So hopefully knowing that, others will be willing to be as candid. Besides, the truth is you can often learn something important even from a statement you find offensive.
Which leads me to your last point (I'll come back to the third one) to which I'd like to ask what the...? When I invited you, I told you it was because I DISagreed with a lot of what you said in your blog. What I don't do is dismiss your opinion out of hand. I'm not going to go into your blog and aggressively attack what you say there. WHERE an opinion is expressed does count to me and I would think that rude. When I see something I don't agree with on someone's blog, I try to approach it gently or not at all. The invitation to anyone here however is to aggressively argue their point of view. Therefore a case can be made that you are correct, I want something to argue against. As I said before, if everyone’s going to agree with me I don't get much value do I? However, if I can convince a strong willed, intelligent, and at least somewhat experienced person like, oh, say you that my opinion makes sense, then that says something about my position. Or, as Mouse and Greengirl did just recently, someone can make a statement that suddenly redefines my understanding something, demonstrating to me what I've gotten wrong up until that point. That's what I wanted from this blog, although very quickly I found it was entertaining and a bit therapeutic as well. So, bonus.
I consider each individuals blog to be analogous to a room in a huge building in a world where teleportation is possible. A person reading my blog is the equivalent of a person standing in my room. They had to find this specific blog site (The building) and then this specific blog (The room) and then click past the "Adult content" warning before entering (The latch on the door that enters). No one in this room is an innocent bystander. When my Ladies and I did describe what we did as D/s we did not use SSC as our baseline. We used the concept of risk aware consent. Let's be very clear. If you end up a sacrificial victim in my search for truth in the context of commenting on this blog, I'm all right with that. The only risk seems to me to be hurt feelings. No one dies.
My strong feelings were tempered by my experiences. I have kicked open real doors to get real women away from people hurting them. I have carried bloody bodies into real hospitals as all the while the patient looks at me with pleading eyes and begs me not to tell the staff her loving "dom" did this. I have watched in shock as these women have then run right back to him. Nowadays I stop at simply expressing my strong opinions on the written page, because I have my own family to care for, and I hope never again to have the Ladies nervous or my child terrified of the glares, threats, and verbal harassment of someone that is not in prison only because I stopped him and then did not reveal his identity, presenting the injuries as "accidental". Why do you believe what you believe?
That all being so, let me state that I heard what you said about being distracted by my "waving arms" but I'm not clear on what you mean. I would invite you with all sincerity to rewrite any post I have put up in your own way, and show me what you mean. I'm not kidding and I'm not being a smart ass. You show me a way you can convince me works better and I'll adopt it.
MC-
The reason I said I didn't worry about offending you was because I had the sense from our previous conversations that I truly wouldn't. I fully expected that you would actually consider what I said, as you have.
I'm going to question you on one statement, however. If you can convince someone that you're right, it validates your position? The impression given initially was that you wanted help sorting out your own head. This statement sounds more like you're pretty sure your head is right, you just want to convert others. I do see how you could serve the initial purpose by changing my mind but that dichotomy is what makes your arguments a bit confusing. I'm never sure who you're actually trying to convince, yourself or me.
I'm glad to hear that mouse and greengirl have given you eureka moments. I apologize for not catching that they'd convinced you of anything. Waving arms syndrome rears it's ugly head again.
My reference to sacrificial victims had nothing to do with whether or not you care. I just meant the source may dry up. Not everyone lives to argue, particularly not in an aggressive fashion.
The rewrite is an interesting and generous offer. I will take you up on it but it will take a bit. I have high hopes of actually having a life this weekend...! :-)
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