Normally I wouldn't tell you this, but for the moment it is part of the context. So FYI, I'm ill. I wasn't feeling poorly yesterday morning really. I've had a bit of a tickle for the last few days but nothing serious. Why is this important you ask? I'll tell you.
Yesterday morning I had to literally push one of the Ladies from the bed, and I waited until the last possible moment because I was enjoying her presence. That being the case, I said "Don't make the bed, I'll do it today". Then the day hit me. I planned to go to work and then come home, get some chores done, and just move through the day. But one of the chores turned out to be a much larger fight than I'd planned, so I was a bit behind schedule and pretty soon it was 8:30. By then I was running a fever and feeling pretty piss poor. I had taken a bath, planning to get to the bed-making after, and without thinking downed some Nyquill (The nighttime sniffling sneezing sleep-on-the-bathroom-floor medicine. At least for me, this stuff works). As soon as I swallowed it I realized my clock was ticking, so I headed into the bedroom and started to sling the sheets over the bed. My Lady must have seen me, because the first sheet was still hanging in the air when she entered and proclaimed she'd do that. "No, you won't" I said. (I did allow her to help, that wasn't precluded by my statement) But here's the thing, I said I'd do it. I was sick just isn't relevant. I said I'd do it. I hadn't forgotten, I just hadn't gotten there yet. She wasn't waiting on me. And yes it was sweet of her to forget my statement, but I hadn't.
This post is the result of someone telling me that seems a little silly to them, after all, I was sick. It wasn't like I was breaking my promise or anything. But the fact is, it's EXACTLY like I'm breaking my promise, because essentially I am. Granted, I will allow there might need to be exceptions made on the rare occasion, but this wasn't one of them. I am not that sick. And that's one of the things I'm so disappointed about and tired of these days, is that just about everyone, even people that walk around talking honor and chivalry and so on, are completely blase' about blowing off a commitment. Late for work? What's the big deal? The company won't go under. No showed for a dinner date? Big deal! It's a free country, right? Didn't provide proper after-care? So what? She's a big girl, she ought to be able to take care of herself. Left an obvious bruise where coworkers can see which directly contradicts her limits and concerns she'd expressed? Give me a break, it was an accident. No one's perfect, O.K.?
No, it's not O.K. There needs to be some concern there. And while I know my pushing myself as hard as I do sometimes irritates my Ladies, I also know that when they hear of a sub who was "Accidentally" caused some major issue and not offered so much as an apology, much less any help dealing with it they are grateful for the way I think. I know when they show up for work and there's some major issue with one of their projects because a coworker "Overslept" AGAIN despite knowing about the all important meeting that morning, they understand why I feel as I do. And I know when they realize they are in need of help themselves, the can find comfort in the fact that I will absolutely be there for them, because that's just how it should be.
