You know, I don't believe feminists are correctly named. They ought to be called anti-feminists in my opinion, because they generally deride anything feminine. Their message seems to be that women are no different than men, unless of course it benefits them to notice that difference.
Feminist females are the first to attack the choice my Ladies have made to build a life with me. The male is in charge? Abusive! One man and two women? Degrading! Clearly they have self esteem issues and have been brainwashed, right? Now we're pretty lucky in this regard. My Ladies have careers with major organizations and they do pretty serious shit. A mistake by either can literally cost their organizations multiple HUNDREDS of MILLIONS of dollars in any of a number of deals they handle everyday, and all of which they are handling simultaneously. My wife not only has a prenup agreement, but also can easily demonstrate many of the things that might be contested in a divorce were gifts. I mean things like the car and the house. Where I live, a gift is not subject to a divorce decree, as it is recognized as the sole property of the person receiving it regardless of marital situation or length of time between the gift and the divorce. Like that old song says "When you leave, don't take nothin', Cuz' not a damn thing belongs to you." Legally, I don't have much of anything. My name isn't even on her checking account. Our partner, aside from her career, has never had my name on her checking account, her car, or anything else really. In fact one of her limits is that I have to keep her informed of anything I do to her car. This ironically stems from a time when I would simply take her car to get it repaired or serviced without discussing it with her. It is my responsibility to take care of her, and the car was hers, and therefore my responsibility. That's radically different than thinking it was my car, but my just arranging it would piss her off. Turns out it left her a bit panic stricken. She had a bad childhood including the teen years, and had spent some time acutely aware that the car was her escape route if she needed it. Not being aware of everything involving it at all times left her nervous. To that end, I simply see to it that she's seeing to it, and I've never asked for any legal authority over it or anything else. She gave me a key, that's good enough for me. If she wants it back, all she has to do is ask.
The point of all this is, since in many legal ways I am actually at their mercy the feminist screeching tends to come to an abrupt halt when we encounter it. But why in the world does it exist? Shouldn't those seeking to elevate the power of the female in our society fight for the right of women to make any choice at all involving themselves? I jut recently found out that the US is in a sticky spot with the UN because in order to join some of the UN treaties, the US would need to legalize prostitution and completely let go any chance of ever making abortion illegal, because most other countries consider these womens rights issues, and women should have control of their own bodies. Apparently most first and even second world countries consider prostitution the womens choice, but have laws against pimping and trafficking. In other words, she can sell sex if she chooses, but no one can push her to do it. Now, if you can step back from the issues themselves, doesn't it seem reasonable to see these things as womens choice? Isn't it odd that the US of all places is the last country to grant a woman freedom over what she is allowed to do to and with her body? Where are the Feminists?
On a smaller scale, I just read JZ's post about showing or not showing cleavage. Isn't it sad it's an issue? Like JZ, I'm not talking about going to work with a bandaid on her nipples, just leaving the top two buttons on the blouse open. Does it strike anyone but me as terribly odd that an adult female (And no offense JZ, but I mean over 30 here) in a professional position should be forced to worry about the acceptibility of such attire in a world where the waist of jeans on (And I'm sorry again for the youngsters, but I'm old now) the waistband of jeans on a college KID absolutely requires that she be bikini waxed? And oh yes, the thong may well be showing. A whale tale is at worst a very minor fashion faux paux, and is quite possibly a fashion statement. So butt cleavage is OK but breast cleavage isn't in our world now? Or is it that the 20 somethings can show, but only until the age at which they should have graduated. Can grad students get a cleavage extension?
Cleavage is feminine, as are hips and, yes, a cute butt. Don't get me wrong, I think there's way to much societal emphasis on how women are supposed to look and not enough on their mental abilities and technical skills, but certainly the way a woman looks can create pleasure in a man. If a woman enjoys a glamour look, why can't she pursue that without somehow betraying the cause? Why is a gay woman perfectly acceptable to the feminist movement, but a plural marriage participant abhorrent? Shouldn't a feminist support femininity instead of trying to crush it? Shouldn't someone fighting for the Feminist Movement attack the 350 pound butch dyke in greasy jeans and leather with a cropped haircut and leave my pantsuit or skirt attired, lipstick and eye make-up wearing, demuring to me by CHOICE Ladies alone? In fact, shouldn't they be defending, if not my Ladies personally, at least their right to make the choice to be who they are? Why do the Feminists hate the feminine?
2 comments:
LOL. When I told some women at work that O and I were marrying, omg the comments I got. Everyone pretty much knew our histories (at least in the public realm--we have known each other forever). The comments I received were more along the lines of, "he's so controlling." and, "how can you stand it when he barks orders at home?" Even the whispers in the bathroom, "I don't know how she can put up with him" My personal favorite, "he needs to be put in his place."
At first I got defensive but then after speaking to O about it all, I decided to let the comments, which I still receive, slide. I don't know why other women worry so much about me being with O. They don't worry or care about his battles with SA, it's more just because they see him differently than I know him to be.
I hate it sometimes that I have to walk this fine line, yesterday I met them for brunch, and the night before I got a phone call saying, "we're all meeting at 11 at the restaurant, see ya there...if you're allowed to go." The last comment was followed by laughter. I dunno, but I nearly cancelled.
I don't know why feminists have such issues with how I live my life, and it's not like they even really know all the details about it. It's just I guess the idea that he makes decisions. It's not like they make all the decisions in their lives themselves either.
hugs,
mouse
MC-
I'm thinking your brush was a smidge too broad but I grant you that your point is a valid one.
I don't think all feminists hate the feminine. But I too have seen the behavior you're talking about and agree that it is incredibly unthinking.
My gut feeling on this is that when people are faced with behavior they do not understand (your feminine ladies, my decorously exposed cleavage) they wonder "why?" - Why would someone behave this way?
What happens, however, is that they usually stop at the very first reason that they can think of for why they might behave that way. They don't delve too far into the possibilities. To make matters worse, the rationalization they latch onto is generally one that fits their world view, so that they don't have to be made uncomfortable considering that there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio.
It's bogus and shallow and, in many ways, a cheat. But it's also a pretty universal trait.
People just don't like The Other.
Post a Comment