I've seen a couple of things lately that, to be honest, seem silly to me. These deal with the ideas that a dom should never prevent a sub from seeing friends or family, and another is that a sub should never tell someone she isn't allowed to do something because her dom forbids it. The theory behind this is that the vanilla folk involved have rights too and we need not to step on their toes or make them uncomfortable with our lifestyle. I disagree.

Sometimes the submissive's nature is recognized(If not understood) and she is being taken advantage of because she is submissive. Sometimes the cure for that is for the partner in charge (Whatever the title) to simply have the submissive tell the user that she isn't available because the boss said so. My Ladies get vacation time from their employers. When first we met, one had never used all her allotted time even though she'd been with the company for several years. What that means is she effectively worked several days a year for free. To this day she has a rule (My rule) that insists she take all her time. I don't think the situation was intentional, but she has a submissive nature and a desire to please. She works in a busy department for a large multinational corporation and it is a burden to her colleagues if she takes time off. It increases their workload. This made her feel somewhat guilty, so she didn't take time off unless she had to. Sick time, family emergencies yes, but never simple vacations for pleasure. Now she has no issue with it, and understands she not only deserves it, but that as a component of her "Compensation package" she actually earns the time, it is not gift. Back then she began taking her vacations somewhat reluctantly only because I insisted on it.

Further, I place the order in restaraunts and the Ladies have both indicated that this is an aspect of our relationship that they each enjoy. They don't even look at the menu. This tends to throw the server and often gets looks from other patrons. Occasionally it is apparent that we are the source of conversations. If these people are uncomfortable, to be honest I plain don't care. Generally these people have obnoxious children or get into arguments with their spouses all with absolutely no regard for our right to enjoy our evening.

As far as friends and family go, I'm fortunate that I've not faced that dilemma. Lady 1 has a loving family that has accepted our situation and hosts ALL of us warmly for family holidays and so on. Lady 2 has parents that are truly vile people, and the conflict between she and I for a time was that she has simply totally shut them out of her life as far as possible. No calls, no gifts, most of the time they may as well not exist. At first I felt she should try to reconcile with them, but on the occasions they force themselves into our lives they conduct themselves with such a vicious demeanor that I've come to completely agree it would be best if they were to suddenly vanish. They bring my Lady nothing but pain and sorrow, and worse they both go out of their way to do so and obviously relish doing it. It's clear in retrospect, but it hadn't occurred to me at first that a father that sexually and physically abused his daughter as a child and a mother who knew and both allowed and covered it up would not become decent human beings just because their daughter grew up. If Lady 2's attitude were not what it is, I'm afraid I might have to limit contact for both her health and her safety.

In a way, this comes back to my previous post concerning labels and defined limits. Plain obligations would also be involved. No matter what term you use, if the partner with authority both understood and accepted that he was literally responsible for the life of the other in all ways, and if as a community all those involved applied peer pressure to maintain a standard, then there would be very few problems and there would be a support network for those few that fell victim despite all efforts.

In that vein and in my opinion, at least in regard to my Ladies, I as team leader have an absolute obligation and duty to at times restrict who my Ladies associate with even to include family. I also positively must, at times, insist that they refuse a request that they would otherwise grant. Of course I would also be obligated to both allow and encourage healthy relationships and life-expanding opportunities. In fact that would be my duty and my obligation.